Monday, January 10, 2011
On a scale of 1-10, rate the following statements, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest.
1. I am happy with my marriage / relationship.
2. My needs are being met in my marriage / relationship.
3. My marriage / relationship is in a better place than it was this time last year.
The number you chose should signify your gut reaction to each question. Why isn't the number lower than the number you chose; why isn't worse? There is a reason you chose your number. Why isn't your number highe; why isn't it betterr? How can the number improve, even a half point. What do YOU have to do to move your number up in practical steps. For example, you rated the statement my needs are being met with a number 3? Well, what has to be done to move your 3 to a number 4? What can you tangibly change to make this better in these next 3 months, even if that means communicating this with your spouse ? You can only be responsible for changing your own behavior. You can't change anyone else!
Think of the quarterly checkup like a tune up for your relationship. If you check in with your spouse on a regular basis resentment has less of an opportunity to build up. Use it as a tool, NOT AN ARGUMENT STARTER!